| Ask Dr Matt | Call Dr Matt | Meet Dr Matt | Quotable Quotes | The Book | Archive |


Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

Archive of Dr Matt's Answers
to Burning Questions


Talk to Dr Matt!
 Complimentary Consultation
When you buy
 Changing Your Stripes 

Come visit Dr Matt at Facebook!

The Source and Power to Overcome Narcissism

Dr. Matt,
I don’t have a question but I wanted to tell you something. I Googled “overcoming narcissism” and saw the generated list. I was hoping for some hope and faith and not just some dumb explanation provided by worldly philosophy. I don’t know you, and I have never been to your site prior . . . but for some reason I “felt” to click on the link that took me to your site.
As I read your response, I realized that your answer to overcoming narcissism was stating something very powerful, especially about free will and the difference between choice and “the Truth” as you put it. Then I saw quotes from the Bible, I really felt the spirit bear witness to its truth. Tears welled in my eyes as I read the words of Jesus. It's interesting how such simple miracles happen. I was so thankful that your link was the one I clicked.
After further research I see that I am not the classic narcissist (at least I hope not) but I do have much selfishness that I am trying to overcome. I just wanted to say thank you for being the type of psychologist with the courage to point the only Person who can help us overcome our human foibles: namely, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I hope that you are truly prospering in your work, because your words were a ray of light and hope to this mind darkened by sin and worldliness. I am going to purchase your book. Thanks again.
Ryan H.

Related Articles: The Cure for Narcissism and the Key to Joyful Living!
What Causes Narcissism: Can Extreme Selfishness be Overcome?
What is Narcissism: Are Human Beings Selfish by Nature or by Nurture?

Taking Care of your Body: Vain or Virtuous — Selfishness versus Preparation

Dear Ryan:

Truth is, we are all "selfish" to some extent: everyone can be placed on a continuum from pitch black narcissism . . . to pure white charity — which "seeketh not her own." Only Jesus lived the pure white way, everyone else has fallen short. Just this morning, I read about His selfless commitment to giving his life for our benefit, and to fulfill the will of His Father:

"My meat is to do the will of him that sent me and to finish his work . . .
for I came down from heaven no to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me."

As you have acknowledged, the cure to overcoming narcissism is through Faith in Jesus, the Son of God. The good news: this morning you followed a Spirit prompting. As you continue listen, the Lord will lead you, and redeem you, from all urges of selfish narcissism:

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:
old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

The Savior pointed out this paradox of mortal life:

"He that findeth his life shall lose it:
and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

Different from the impression that many self-help gurus give, I am crystal clear that I "can do nothing" unless I abide in the True Vine (see John 15: 1-5). As a lawyer, you have been trained to use your head and rely upon your intellect — such an orientation is precisely opposite from the way the Lord would have us live:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Be not wise in thine own eyes.

I invite you to experience the previous passage, as if for the first time, and take its meaning to heart. As you do, a miracle will happen in your life: You will be changed from a selfish man, to a man of empathy and compassion, through Heaven's Help.


Matt Moody, Ph.D.
Social Psychologist

* * * * * * *

Dr. Matt offers telephone counseling that will fix your problems fast!

The Greatest Prize
for Life's labors isn't
in material possessions
or impressive accomplishments,
but in the progress of personal character.
You labor for your own becoming, this is your richest reward.
Who You Become is your greatest possession,
make it your Masterpiece!

(Changing Your Stripes, 2nd Edition, page 274)

The book, "Changing Your Stripes" presents principles for getting out of
the ditch in which you've been dumped (the difficulties of which you are a victim), and
the ditch in which you've jumped (the difficulties for which you volunteer).

"Mastering a challenging situation
is ultimately a matter of
mastering yourself!"

- Matt Moody 

"Changing Your Stripes," teaches you the principles that lead to lasting change,
making you a new kind of creature capable of communicating
with calm, even as storms of contention swirl.

If these principles resonate and ring true,
then . . . this book is for you!

Sold Exclusively

through this website

Changing Your Stripes is a
unique reference book that will help
you understand, . . .
and solve all of
Life's ever-appearing problems.
Here are more reasons to buy

Changing Your Stripes

Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

| Ask Dr Matt | Call Dr Matt | Meet Dr Matt | Quotable Quotes | The Book | Archive |