Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

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Changing Your Stripes

"With every conscious choice to draw near to Love and Light,
self-control is gradually acquired; the desire to indulge in darkness diminishes
in direct proportion to the Light that shines in you & the Love that comes from you.
As Divine Light and Love grow brighter and brighter with each
conscious decision to draw nearer to Love and Light,
the desire to do dark deeds disappears."
~ Matt Moody.

Principles of Emotional Healing
and Lasting Change
by Matt Moody, Ph.D.  

Most human problems come in three kinds:

Direct Control Problem — Problem with Self
  Indirect Control Problem — Problem with Others
      Non-Control Problem — Problem with Events

Each problem has a solution that calls for change:

      Problem with Self — Change your Habits
     Problem with Others — Change your Approach
 Problem with Events — Change your Attitude

While some problems can be solved through determined will power or creative thinking, our most challenging problems in life require a Change of Heart — a profound and lasting change that naturally leads to a change in habits, a change in approach toward others, and a change in attitude about events beyond our control. There is a reason why creative thinking and mental will-power alone cannot bring about lasting change:

"We cannot solve problems at the same level of thinking
which existed when the problem was created."
~ Albert Einstein 

The fixated state of being mentally stuck is a condition I call "Einstein's Mind Bind" — it means you can't change your mind using the same mind that needs changing, nor can you fix a situation using the same mind that needs fixing. The only way out of this cognitive conundrum is to experience a Change of Heart.

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he"
~ King Solomon, 950 B.C. 

Many misinterpret this Proverb by diminishing or removing the meaning of "heart" and emphasizing mind power: "As a man thinks, so is he." But the Proverb verifies that Self-Identity is revealed from the Heart; so to change Who You Are from your core, a Change of Heart must happen.

"The only change that matters is a change of heart,
every other change alters us cosmetically but not fundamentally,
modifies how we appear, what we do or what we say,
but does not change who we are."
~ C. Terry Warner 

A Change of Heart necessarily precedes a change of mind, thus a change of perspective. Jesus taught that our thoughts, words, and deeds flow from the good or evil treasures of the heart.

"How can ye, being evil,
speak good things? for out of the
abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart
brings forth that which is good; and an evil man out of
the evil treasure of his heart brings forth that which is evil."
~ Jesus of Nazareth 

So how do we come to a Change of Heart? Is the pathway to lasting change only understood by the educated elite? Is the process of profound change an exclusive secret only known to experts?

"Everything we need to know
in order to experience a change of heart,
we know already: it is a truth always available,
a possession we have as part of the human family.
The secret of life is everyone's possession.
We do not need to go in search of it,
only to stop resisting it."
~ C. Terry Warner 

The secret of life is everyone's possession; it is our possession as part of the human family. Thus, we must not resist the intuitions of Heart that guide us:

"Keep thy heart with all
diligence; for out of it
are the issues of life."
~ King Solomon 

Because our Creator is infinitely wise, He has provided a way for all His creations to know Truth, and thereby receive a fullness of joy in this life and in eternity.

Sensing Intuitions of Heart is a universal human experience. Such intuitions are often called "Conscience," "Inner Wisdom," or "Inner Voice." This global experience of inner prompting cuts across all religions and cultures. Here's a few examples of how Intuitions of Heart are spoken of from various perspectives:

"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name,
he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance,
whatsoever I have said unto you."
~ Jesus of Nazareth 

"But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel;
. . . saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts,
and write it in their hearts."
~ Jeremiah, 626 B.C. 

"Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles...
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,
we must carry it with us or we find it not...
Character is higher than intellect."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

"About morals, I know only that what is moral
is what you feel good after, and what is
immoral is what you feel bad after."
~ Ernest Hemingway 

"Two things awe me most, the starry sky above
and the moral law within."
~ Immanuel Kant 

"When you reach the end of what you should know,
you will be at the beginning of what you should sense."
~ Kahlil Gibran 

"The Way is not in the sky, . . . the Way is in the heart."
~ Gautama Buddha, 530 B.C. 

"When you succeed in connecting your energy with the divine realm
through high awareness, and the practice of undiscriminating virtue,
the transmission of the ultimate subtle truths will follow."
~ Lao Tzu, 500 B.C. 

To clearly hear intuitions of Truth, impressions of one's Heart, all aspects of inner darkness must be identified and un-done; a person must be clean, to be clear.

"Unto the pure all things are pure:
but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving
is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled."
~ Paul the Apostle 

You've heard the phrase "this will be their undoing." Typically, an undoing is a bad thing: unraveling, falling apart, or breaking up — all these are bad. But consider a type of undoing that is good: the process by which we recover clarity of heart is actually more a matter of un-doing, than of doing.

Becoming Clean and Clear is not something
I ''make" happen, but something I "let" happen,
Recovery & Renewal flow as I un-do darkness.
The whisperings of Light lead the way.
I must yield my will to the Light.

When you feel that something is good, and you are purely honest in the experience of that impression, no further evidence is needed — the Truthful Feeling is the evidence. There is no greater guide to fulfillment and refinement than the crystal clarity that speaks as a whisper to your soul.

The voice of Light is heard in the Light.
I must move from the darkness and find
the place where warmth and peace caress me.
Walk in the Light and I am warmed by loving radiance.
Walk in the Light and I can clearly hear
the whisperings of Light.

We enjoy the full presence of Light when we are clean: personal purity is the key to clearly hearing the voice of Light. To become clean, we must strip away all aspects of darkness in our lives. When we fail to un-do inner darkness, we literally cannot perceive the pathway to honor or to truth; we will be blind to the perspective and logic of Light. As long as there is inner darkness, there will be self-deception.

Self-Deception = The Problem that You have a Problem,
but You don't think You have a Problem.

If we are blind to our self-deceptions, how can we possibly recognize our blindness, if we are blind?

Three Tell-Tale Signs that You
are betraying your own sense of what is True:
"All your troubles are in the J.A.R."

A thorough understanding of the tell-tale signs of self-deception provides awareness sufficient to catch yourself and correct your course. The patterns are predictable and observable; they are signs central to the aim of un-doing! Seeing these signs in yourself provides a huge clue to what you must un-do.

Justifying
Accusing
Resenting

Tell-Tale Sign of Self-Deception: Justifying

"People who act with integrity,
who act in accordance with conscience,
have nothing to cover up. Since what they
are doing is right, they don't have to spend any
effort trying to make it seem right. Only people who are
doing something that goes against their own sense of right
have to spend time and energy living out a self-justifying story.
The very fact that we need to struggle for approval
proves that we do not approve of ourselves."
~ C. Terry Warner 

"You can't talk your way out of a problem
that you behaved your way into."
~ Stephen R. Covey 

Tell-Tale Sign of Self-Deception: Accusing

"People seem not to see that their opinion of the
world is also a confession of character."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

"When you judge another,
you don't just define them,
you also define yourself."
~ Wayne Dyer 

"You don't see the world as it is,
you see it according to who you are."
~ Stephen R. Covey 

Tell-Tale Sign of Self-Deception: Resenting

Re-senting others, or situations, is a re-occurring activity: The resentful person engages in re-sending yesterday's contrary energy. Re-sending resentful energy is today's decision that squashes tomorrow's hope.

The act of re-sent-ment tethers you to yesterday's misery. This is a consistent law of life:  Every resentful seed sown today . . . returns a bitter harvest tomorrow.

Resentment is the Poison that You Drink,
while expecting your offenders to die
from the Poison that You Drink.

When I am False . . . I feel 
Agitation, Tension, Disharmony.
Resentful Emotions signal my Falseness.
But when I am True, I feel Peace;
the Peace that flows freely
signifies Harmony.

To a certain extent, recognizing tell-tale signs of the inner darkness can be grasped by intellectual awareness and study, as parables and principles are pondered. But ultimately the task of un-doing inner darkness is not an intellectual process but a spiritual process, where people get to own what they create -- what comes out of them.

The Division of Response-Ability:

Irritating behavior of others presents a Constraint to which you respond.
And while that bothersome behavior may necessarily capture your
attention,  the  obnoxious  actions  of  others  cannot  cause
the particular style or Character of your Response.
You are the author of your responses. Only
when you own Response-Ability for
Actions, can you change them.

Whenever you feel Irritated, its fundamentally because you are IRRITATE-ABLE. How so? Realize that the same "Irritating" stimulus will not cause many other people to become Irritated.

"It's natural to believe that external events upset you. When you're mad at someone,
you automatically make them the cause of your upset. But when you think like this,
you're fooling yourself because others cannot make you angry.
Yes, you heard me right!
A pushy teenager might crowd in line at the movies,
or a 'friend' might cheat you out of your share of a business deal --
but no matter how outrageous or unfair others might appear,
they do not, never did, and never will upset you.
The bitter truth is that you are the one who's creating
every last ounce of the outrage you experience."
~ David D. Burns 

"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, and mean-spirited things do occur in human
interactions that tempt us to take offense. But it is ultimately impossible for
for another person to offend you. Indeed, believing that other people have
offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make;
it is not a condition inflicted upon us by someone or something else."
~ David A. Bednar 

Again, the Division of Response-Ability comes into play: If It Comes Out of You . . . It Is Yours!

So in situations that happen short of physical abuse or bodily violence, even though others may be verbally offensive or mean-spirited -- that's their problem! And our react to "their problem" can become "our problem" as we let the bad behavior of others offend or overwhelm us. This means that being Irritable or Miserable, one way or the other, occurs because it is Self-Inflicted -- we choose our responses to outward constraints, we are Able to Respond.

Hitting Myself with the Misery Stick!

Why Would Anyone Choose To Make
Themselves Miserable?

While some misery is inflicted in the moment by
others or by accidents, . . . beyond the "Point of Impact,"
after the dust of a difficulty has long since settled:
All further Misery is Self-Inflicted.

     Emotional misery is Self-Inflicted through acts of commission and omission:
       ~ We commit betrayals against our own Intuitions of Heart, and do dark deeds
            ~ We omit the opportunities to hear and heed our Inner Voice, and fail to do good deeds.

The Creator has given all humanity the gift of free will to choose between Light and darkness. An infinitely wise God has created you and me to be Accountable and Response-Able for our choices.

Our ability to choose wisely when others are offensive or mean-spirited, is determined by our history of embracing the Light, or by our pronounced pattern of walking in darkness. People who embrace the Light have more freedom to choose how they will respond when tough times appear. And the fact is, in mortal life, "tough times" always appear . . . because that's how human life happens.

"With every conscious choice to draw near to Love and Light,
self-control is gradually acquired; the desire to indulge in darkness diminishes
in direct proportion to the Light that shines in you & the Love that comes from you.
As Divine Light and Love grow brighter and brighter with each
conscious decision to draw nearer to Love and Light,
the desire to do dark deeds disappears."
~ Matt Moody.

The preceding has been an introduction to basic principles of emotional healing and change.

Now, to better understand how our history of choosing factors into the way we respond in the moment, we must understand a Principle I call: Energy-In-Motion -- and it's a deep subject! But here's a brief explanation of E-motion, or Energy-In-Motion.

Sincerely,
Dr Matt

Matt Moody, Ph.D.
Social Psychologist

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                         Empirical Evidence confirms that Depression occurs due to Sin and not Serotonin
                        The Myth of Mental Illness: People Do Think, Feel, & Act in Mentally Ill Ways, BUT
                        Because there's No Bug, Bacteria, or Virus involved: You don't HAVE OCD, You DO OCD

* * * * * * *

Dr. Matt offers telephone counseling that will fix your problems fast!

The Greatest Prize
for Life's labors isn't
in material possessions
or impressive accomplishments,
but in the progress of personal character.
You labor for your own becoming, this is your richest reward.
Who You Become is your greatest possession,
make it your Masterpiece!
(Changing Your Stripes, 2nd Edition, page 274) 

The book, "Changing Your Stripes" presents principles for getting out of
the ditch in which you've been dumped (the difficulties of which you are a victim), and
the ditch in which you've jumped (the difficulties for which you volunteer).

"Mastering a challenging situation
is ultimately a matter of
mastering yourself!"
- Matt Moody 

"Changing Your Stripes," teaches you the principles that lead to lasting change,
making you a new kind of creature capable of communicating
with calm, even as storms of contention swirl.

If these principles resonate and ring true,
then . . . this book is for you!

Sold Exclusively
through this website

Changing Your Stripes is a
unique reference book that will help
you understand, . . . and solve all of
Life's ever-appearing problems.
Here are more reasons to buy
Changing Your Stripes

Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor