Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

Dr Matt's Archive of Answers
to Burning Questions

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks
Seeking Solutions: Magic versus Hard Work

Dr. Matt,

My name is Amanda. I'm 17 years old and single. I live in Levittown, New York. My problem involves anxiety and panic attacks. I really need help with feeling better about myself. I have very low self esteem and I don't feel comfortable with myself or in most situations. I can't deal with this anymore.
   
Thank you,
Amanda

Related Articles: Ontological Assumptions: Why Do I Exist? What is the Purpose of Life?
Numbing Anxiety & Depression with Drugs vs. Hearing What Pain is Trying to Teach

Hello Amanda:

Through the years I've discovered that some who seek answers to Life's tough questions are looking for MAGIC -- they don't always want to put in the HARD WORK required to becoming emotionally healthy and happy.

Sometimes MAGIC comes in a form of a Pill; it's the easy thing to do, but usually not the best thing to do. This truth remains:

After you Awake from a Drug-Induced Dream.
Life will be Waiting for You,
Right where you Left It.
The Best Way to Solve a Problem
Is by Going THROUGH it, and not around it.

If you climb a ladder that leans against the WRONG wall, no matter how high you climb, your eventually destination will be OFF. So in order for you to feel better about yourself and escape feelings of anxiety and panic, you need to begin with CORRECT assumptions about Life.

As you harbor WRONG assumptions about the way Life works, you will not be able to feel good about yourself, nor rid yourself of anxiety and panic. Here are questions concerning your assumptions about Life, what you assume to be REAL:

Why do I exist? What is the Purpose of being alive? How did I come to exist in the first place? What is the way to my fulfillment?

If your answers to these questions are WRONG, this means your ladder is leaning against the WRONG wall; thus trying to ascend upward is only an illusion of progress. As long as your ladder leans against the WRONG wall, it is impossible for you to arrive at the RIGHT place — it is impossible for you to feel good about yourself and escape anxiety and panic.

Beginning with correct assumptions about Life, is also like laying a proper foundation, providing a sure footing upon which to build. I look forward to your answers! I hope you are one of the few who is willing to put in HARD WORK, and is not looking for MAGIC.

Sincerely,
Dr Matt

Amanda Answers the Question:

Dr Matt,

I answered pretty positively to the questions. I think that I exist because God created me and wanted to give me a job on this earth. I think the purpose of living is to have fun and enjoy the miracle of life that God gave me. The best way to personal fulfillment is to find our happiness and enjoyment.

Dear Amanda:

Your answers are aimed in the Right direction. Good for you! But there are other important ideas to know, to make your understanding complete; and thus, you will know how to feel better about yourself AND know how to escape Anxiety and Panic.

Here are some ideas to think about, that will help you see a more complete picture:

1) If the purpose of living is primarily to have fun and enjoy the miracle of life that God has given, then why does human Life include Anxiety and Panic Attacks?

2) You write that the best way to personal fulfillment is to find your "happiness and enjoyment." Your answer leads us to another question: What is the best way to "happiness and enjoyment"?

If these same questions were posed to a 1,000 people, you would get a wide range of responses. So, here is another vital question:

3) How can you know if your answers and assumptions are correct?

If you are living at home with your parents, then share what I've written with one or both of them. One key to happy Living is this: Always be open and honest in what you say, and what you do. Those who have nothing to hide, . . . hide nothing!

If one or both of your parents give their approval, I will continue to help you understand through a few more emails; this will give you a foundation from which you can have high self-esteem and be rid of anxiety and panic. I am willing to give you a starting point and a correct foundation for free.

Once you understand the correct foundation, it is up to you to build from there. Between the information in my book and hundreds of pages at my website, if you will read and study, you can progress far on your own.

Life is Self-Correcting. When you are not doing Life right, . . . Life will not do you right either. It's the Law of the Farm: If you sow Weed Seeds, you should NOT expect to harvest Apples. Instead of hoping for Magic, put in Hard Work . . . and eventually good things will happen, you will harvest Happiness and you sow the Seeds that grow Happiness. Here is your Journey:

For this is the Journey that men make:
To find themselves. If they fail in this, it matters little
whatever else they may achieve: Money, Fame, Revenge.
When they end the Journey, they can put them all into
a bin marked “ashes.” They mean nothing.
But if one has found that he has within him
a divine soul, if he has discovered the principles
upon which the fulfillment of that soul is based, and
if he implements those principles, then he has a mansion
within which he can live with dignity
and joy each day of his life.

Regards,
Dr Matt

Matt Moody, Ph.D.
Social Psychologist

* * * * * * *

Dr. Matt offers telephone counseling that will fix your problems fast!

The Greatest Prize
for Life's labors isn't
in material possessions
or impressive accomplishments,
but in the progress of personal character.
You labor for your own becoming, this is your richest reward.
Who You Become is your greatest possession,
make it your Masterpiece!
(Changing Your Stripes, 2nd Edition, page 274).

The book, "Changing Your Stripes" presents principles for getting out of
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- Matt Moody 

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Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor