Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

Dr Matt's Archive of Answers
to Burning Questions

What Kind of Disorder is Behind Someone's
Creeping Stalking Behavior?

1) kyle
2) kansas
3) male 22
4) single
 
Im a college student that happened to wonder into an exotic club with a friend. while there one of the female employees happened to pinched me due to the fact that i wasn't giving her anymore attention after our conversation. i told her to go and make money not in a rude fashion. well after my friend and i left she was in the parking lot in her car. well i got into my buddies car and we drove off. well this lady happened to find me on facebook six months later. im a musician and told her about a drummer and gave his name that night

well long story short six months later this drummer had a girlfriend. the fall semester had started and i ran into him and his girlfriend (she also employee of that club). she broke it off from the drummer after she met me. that's how the lady got my name. i was wondering what kind of disorder would cause the pinching and pulling to a random stranger? also i believe this turned into an obsession for this girl to find me? also i feel like ive been somewhat stalked or at least hunted down. somewhat creepy. i also apologize this may seem like an odd event and topic but if you could help me out by explaining the behavior behind this i would deeplay appreciate it. thank you,

kyle

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Hello Kyle:

I've highlighted key phrases in your email, so you can better see the ideas I'm responding to. You ask this question:

"what kind of disorder would cause the pinching and pulling to a random stranger?"

By asking this question, you are assuming that a "disorder" IS really "behind this" bad behavior. There is indeed a Dis-Order that explains the girl's creepy, stalking behavior, but it's not the disorder commonly spoken of by traditional psychologists. In Traditional Psychology a disorder is:

       Bad Behavior that comes from a person because of out-of-balance brain chemistry, or a particular gene that dictates a tendency, or some biological defect assumed to be the root cause "behind" bad behavior. Within this paradigm, a person cannot help herself. The biological "disorder" causes a person to behave badly — beyond personal choice.

       REMEDY = Take a Pill which supposedly corrects the biological imbalance or defect.

In contrast, here's how Dis-Orders occur in the Real World:

       Undesirable Behavior occurs because of immaturity: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. This means undesirable behavior continues because people lack knowledge of the truth and the ability to apply certain truths; also Bad Behavior continues because people have not been redeemed through faith in Jesus Christ — because that redemption has not been chosen, or because it has not happened yet according to God's wisdom and timetable.

       In the Real World, all people who behave badly CAN change bad habits by choosing to learn and apply True Principles and by choosing Christ, who can cause a miracle to happen:

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:
old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new" (2 Cor. 5: 17).

Conduct Dis-Orders flow from a person's present disposition, and disposition is determined by:

       1)  Biological and Behavioral Constraints that may manifest from birth (read this); and

       2)  A Person's Cummulative History and Pattern of Personal Choices (read this).

       REMEDY = Recognize the Bad Behavior; Realize that a Pattern of Past History is changed by making correct Choices; Understand that Bad Habits change by choosing Values, Situations, and Friends that will support and reinforce a Life-Style of learning and living True Principles.

Bottom Line: The girl who "pinched" you behaved badly by average standards, but behaved congruent to the situation of an "exotic club" — a situation she chose. Thus, she has direct control over whether her creepy behavior continues. REALITY: She possesses power to choose truths that will set her free, and is not a victim to a biological "disorder" which supposedly causes her creepiness.

Read about Traditional Psychology's Disorder Paradigm: I call it "It's-Not-Your-Fault Psychology."

The root cause "behind this" bad behavior is spiritual and not biological; thus the fundamental difference between spiritual Dis-Orders and biological disorders. It's true that Situational and Biological Constraints can make it harder to choose the truth; still people possess agency to choose truth and reap the freedoms and blessings inseparably attached to that choice.

Spiritual Dis-Orders can be changed by choosing Truth and so-called biological disorders are CONSTRAINTS that do not ultimately block any person's ability to choose Truth. When people unwisely buy into traditional psychology's disorder paradigm, they are sold an excuse authored out of a false assumption — that there is no God and human life was born of Big Bang and Evolution.

But Here's REALITY: All humanity are creations of a Creator who has given us the gift of choice and holds us responsible for our choosing. In the future, you should expect to be bitten by Gators, whenever you choose to swim in Gator Lake.

Best Regards,
Dr Matt