| Home | Ask Dr Matt | Call Dr Matt | Meet Dr Matt | Quotes | Book | Answer Archive |


Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

Below is Dr Matt's Answer
to a Burning Question


Family History Therapy by Dr Matt:
Getting Clear about Your Identity

Come visit Dr Matt at Facebook!

Frustrated with Men!

Dr. Matt,


I am so frustrated with men I'd like to get rid of them all!

Mallory from Montana, Age 27

Dear Mallory:

Here is the direct answer to your QUESTION:
Yes! There are men on this planet with the "depth" you desire.

You will respond well to this situation, as you focus your frustration toward the specific man, or the specific men, who are "asking for more" and who lack "depth."

To generalize your frustration beyond your immediate and direct experience—and get frustrated with men in general—is to join the kind of people who have general pre-judgments toward people with black skin, or brown skin, or white skin, or harbor general pre-judgments toward Jews, or Muslims, or Mexicans, or Mormons, etc.

It's called being prejudiced. Pre-Judgment = Prejudice

You will be wise if you don't become prejudiced and poisoned against millions of men that you've never met—many of which possess a "depth" of character that you are missing in your current associations.

Since you can't control other people's attitudes or actions—but you CAN control your own—it is very healthy to ask yourself the following question:

"What is it about me, that I tend to attract and associate with men
who treat me in ways I don't wish to be treated?"

By asking this question, and taking positive action upon the answer, you can directly DO something about your situation and frustration. Now the "doing" of it is NOT a matter of mental will power; instead, it is a Matter of Heart.

If you want to attract a man of higher character (the kind of man that will treat you as you wish to be treated), THEN this means you need to become a woman who possesses this same level of "depth" that you desire.

If you do not change first, then consistent association with men of "depth" cannot happen. One definition of insanity is thus:

Doing the same thing day after day, but expecting different results.

There is a chinese proverb that expresses a similar thought:

I dreamed a thousand new paths; I woke up and walked my old one.

Luckily, I've written a book, Changing Your Stripes, that contains all the principles that you need to know to "walk a new path" and to become the kind of woman that will attract men of "depth."

Now, I'm not saying you don't have depth of character. I am saying that you and everyone else in this world (to include me) can move to a higher level of living—higher than the one that we're currently on.

Remember Mallory, the level at which you are currenty living . . . is the one where you are experiencing frustration with men who lack "depth."

So, the choice is yours: To walk your old path and be "insane" enough to think you will get new results, OR to walk a new path and enjoy all the "depth" that awaits you along this new journey.


Matt Moody, Ph.D.
Social Psychologist

* * * * * * *

The Greatest Prize
for Life's labors isn't
in material possessions
or impressive accomplishments,
but in the progress of personal character.
You labor for your own becoming, this is your richest reward.
Who You Become is your greatest possession,
make it your Masterpiece!

(Changing Your Stripes, 2nd Edition, page 274)

The book, "Changing Your Stripes" presents principles for getting out of
the ditch in which you've been dumped (the difficulties of which you are a victim), and
the ditch in which you've jumped (the difficulties for which you volunteer).

"Mastering a challenging situation
is ultimately a matter of
mastering yourself!"

- Matt Moody 

"Changing Your Stripes," teaches you the principles that lead to lasting change,
making you a new kind of creature capable of communicating
with calm, even as storms of contention swirl.

If these principles resonate and ring true,
then . . . this book is for you!

Sold Exclusively

through this website

Changing Your Stripes is a
unique reference book that will help
you understand, . . .
and solve all of
Life's ever-appearing problems.
Here are more reasons to buy

Changing Your Stripes

Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

| Home | Ask Dr Matt | Call Dr Matt | Meet Dr Matt | Quotes | The Book | Site Index |