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Do you really want better Communication in your Relations?

a
Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

 


It takes wisdom . . . to recognize wisdom
The music is nothing, if the audience is deaf!

The aim of "changing YOU" from your core is a journey that will fix all adjoining problems, and will yield a life of calm and content. Yet this is a much harder task to take on . . . compared to learning techniques of communication.

Because maximizing material profit with the least amount of effort IS the more common cultural and business mindset, the technique paradigm of communication is the path traversed by the mediocre majority. But here's the problem, when you try to "technique" others, you are basicially manipulating them for personal profit and you create a Win-Lose relationship. According to the principle of Karma this kind of motive and approach will come back to bite you in the butt:

If you send out one-sided selfishness,
this same motive will come back to you, and exploit you,
just as you have egocentrically exploited others.

Because it is easier to do, the technique paradigm of communication is more superficially appealing, but it will not yield long-term, satisfying results when compared to the project of "Changing YOU" from your core. Changing Your Stripes IS the superior paradigm that only the wise can recognize; it is the music that only few will hear. YET, those who need this vital CHANGE most are the very individuals who fail to avail themselves of this essential opportunity. So . . . WAKE UP, I've got what you need:

If you want to improve your ability to Communicate
with others, . . . I've got what you need!

What I will share with you will dump traditional "technique" and "skill" approaches to communication on their heads! Further, I absolutely guarantee that you are NOT familiar with this most productive paradigm; it is a unique perspective on self-betrayal and self-deception that was mainly developed at the university from which I received my Ph.D.

Increasing your ability to communicate most effectively within all communicative contexts--both business and personal--is NOT so much about increasing technical knowledge, . . . but mostly about increasing your Character. Here are excerpts from my book, "Changing Your Stripes," that explain:

* * * * * * *

Self as Language. When we think of the expressive, communicative aspect of Self—what I refer to as Human Be-ing, as opposed to Human Body—we visualize a person interacting with others, within specific situations. Meaning is expressed in every human act, and in each human act, a speaking or a saying of some sort is communicated with or without words. We speak by symbol, word, gesture, and deed, all of which constitute "language" in a broad sense.

Every human act is a language act: an act that conveys motive, emotion, meaning, and purpose. You literally cannot NOT communicate something in every waking moment. Life is manifest in daily interactive dialogue. As to language and Life, Jergen Habermas remarked: "Reality happens in language. . . . Language is not merely an object in our hands, it is the reservoir of tradition and the medium in and through which we exist."

* * * * *
Human beings do not just use language, . . . we are language!
Speaking, expressing, hearing, and understanding is inherently Who We Are.
Thus, enriching Who We Are from our core is a superior approach for improving
communication, compared to learning "techniques" of communication,
as if language were merely a manipulative tool.
* * * * *
.

Whether we acknowledge it or not, we always speak from our core, and the way we speak and the content we express reveals that core. As Jesus taught, "From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh." The motives of the heart manifest who we are. The intents of the heart determine the effectiveness and flow of our all our communications— and thus the happiness and harmony of human relations.
(Changing Your Stripes, The Manual, page 2-9)

As we grow in strength of character, we naturally become better communicators. The issues and obstacles of effective interpersonal communication are seldom only about word selection, . . . "saying it just right." There are two common saying that expresses this point:

* * * * *
I don't care how much you know,
until I know how much you care.
.What you do speaks so loudly,.
I can't hear what you say
!
* * * * *
.

Yet, "trying to say it just right" is the common orientation proffered by purveyors of the "technique/skill" paradigm of communication. When it comes to communicating effectively, the emotional tone and intention that accompanies our words are of paramount importance. This is why Dr Matt likes to say, and so he does:

* * * * *
When the Tone is True,
Communication is Clear and
Arguments Evaporate!
* * * * *
.
(Changing Your Stripes, The Manual, page 2-10)

But how will you ever patiently endure ongoing elaboration, explanation, and attentive listening . . . IF you are not a patient person? Thus we return full circle to the most important imperative:

Because you don't just "use" language, . . . you "are" language;
thus, the need to Change Your Stripes!   Your ability
to communicate well IS directly parallel
to the quality of your character.


(Changing Your Stripes, The Manual, page 2-13)

* * * * * * *

Ascending to the pinnacle of Clear Communication will not happen by applying the techniques and skills taught by traditional Psychology; the prevailing paradigm of "It's-Not-Your-Fault Psychology" is fatally flawed from its foundations. This popular paradigm tends to deprive people of the very thing that will deliver Clear Communication:

To fully and wholly accept Response-Ability for what comes out of you!

Owning your Response-Ability is a first step to increase your Character, and thus increase your ability to communicate. Clear Communication is most fundamentally about YOU and Changing Your Stripes!

"The Greatest Prize
for Life's labors isn't
in material possessions
or impressive accomplishments,
but in the progress of personal character.
You labor for your own becoming, this is your richest reward.
Who You Become is your greatest possession,
make it your Masterpiece!"

(Changing Your Stripes, The Manual, page 3-78)
.

You Need to Put your Peepers
on the Words in My Book.


You'll be so much Smarter and Happier if you do!

My new book, "Changing Your Stripes" presents principles for:
Getting out of the ditch in which you've been dumped, . . .
the difficulties of which you are a
Victim, . . . and/or
Getting out of the ditch in which you've jumped,
the difficulties for which you
Volunteer.

"Mastering a challenging situation
is ultimately a matter of
mastering yourself!"

- Matt Moody.

"Changing Your Stripes," teaches you the principles that lead to lasting change,
making you a new kind of creature capable of responding with calm,
even as storms of adversity swirl.


Sold Exclusively

through this website

Changing Your Stripes is a
unique reference book that will help
you understand, . . .
and solve all of
Life's ever-appearing problems.
Here are more reasons to buy

Changing Your Stripes


a
Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

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