| Ask Dr Matt | Call Dr Matt | Meet Dr Matt | Quotable Quotes | The Book | Archive |


Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

Dr Matt's Archive of Answers
to Burning Questions

Talk to Dr Matt!
 Complimentary Consultation
When you buy
 Changing Your Stripes 
Dr Matt's Rebuttal to the Craze called The Secret

Is Self Love Something that God Wants Me to Do?

Dear Dr Matt:

My name is Syesha. I'm 18 years old and I live in Hawaii.

I'm slightly confused. Some of my friends say that I should love myself, that it's a good thing to do. But I other friends say that self-love just fosters an unhealthy selfishness.

I'm a Christian, and I want to do the thing that would please Jesus. Do you know of any scriptures that will give me a guide on this issue? Help me figure this out!


Hello Syesha:

Loving yourself sounds like a good idea on the surface, but it is really just one of the false teachings of the world (1 Cor. 3: 19). Loving yourself is NOT a Christian Principle. Self-focus takes our eyes away from the superior focus that Christ declared (Matt. 6: 33).

Jesus taught that the key to finding your life is in losing yourself for His sake (Matt. 10: 39). One of the central ways to lose yourself is accomplished by keeping the Lord's great commandments: Love God and Neighbor with all heart, mind, and soul (Matt. 22: 36-40).

When Christ said to "love your neighbor as thyself," . . . the words "as thyself" do not translate into "love yourself" or "self-love." Why so? Because the pure love of Christ, a.k.a. Charity, "seeketh not her own" (1 Cor. 13: 4-5).

When Christ spoke the words "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Mark 12: 30, 31), He was referring a prior teaching given in His Sermon on the Mount—the Golden Rule (Matt. 7: 12). In other words, our love for others should be given in the same way that we would have others love us.

The Savior's new commandment to "love one another" (John 13: 34) happens naturally as we live by the Spirit! For "love" IS a "fruit" of having the Spirit with us (Galatians 5: 14-22). When we have the Spirit of God to guide us and assist us, we intuitively feel to do good and be loving—just as fruit naturally flourishes from a well-tended tree.

Again, the key to finding your life is by losing your life for His sake—this is the superior focus that is far above . . . "self-love." Further, the scriptures teach that losing yourself in love and service to God and loving and serving your fellow beings are expressions of love that are exactly equal to each other:

"And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom;
that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings
ye are only in the service of your God"
(Mosiah 2: 17).

So better than "loving yourself" . . . is loving God and neighbor with all heart, might, mind, strength, and soul--a love that gives all that you've got!

There are those who will say, "but what about me? shouldn't I think about me, . . . occasionally? Here's a key principle that requires faith in Jesus Christ to live: The Lord will take care of "me" and "you" . . . as we take care of His Kingdom.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you"
Matt. 6: 33).

This is what Christ meant when He taught this paradox: "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

Best Regards,

Matt Moody, Ph.D.
Social Psychologist

* * * * * * *

Dr. Matt offers telephone counseling that will fix your problems fast!

The Greatest Prize
for Life's labors isn't
in material possessions
or impressive accomplishments,
but in the progress of personal character.
You labor for your own becoming, this is your richest reward.
Who You Become is your greatest possession,
make it your Masterpiece!

(Changing Your Stripes, 2nd Edition, page 274)

The book, "Changing Your Stripes" presents principles for getting out of
the ditch in which you've been dumped (the difficulties of which you are a victim), and
the ditch in which you've jumped (the difficulties for which you volunteer).

"Mastering a challenging situation
is ultimately a matter of
mastering yourself!"

- Matt Moody 

"Changing Your Stripes," teaches you the principles that lead to lasting change,
making you a new kind of creature capable of communicating
with calm, even as storms of contention swirl.

If these principles resonate and ring true,
then . . . this book is for you!

Sold Exclusively

through this website

Changing Your Stripes is a
unique reference book that will help
you understand, . . .
and solve all of
Life's ever-appearing problems.
Here are more reasons to buy

Changing Your Stripes

Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

| Ask Dr Matt | Call Dr Matt | Meet Dr Matt | Quotable Quotes | The Book | Archive |