The Goal within Your Control:
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Bad Assumptions, Unsavory Solutions. The overwhelming majority of therapeutic approaches for fixing unsettling emotions flow from the assumptions of traditional psychology; a scientific field that is mostly focused upon this question:
What is it about your Biology, your Brain, or your Bad Upbringing
Because "your problems" are assumed to be caused by factors other than YOU, I call this kind of science: It's-Not-Your-Fault Psychology. Obviously, there is great popular appeal for this approach because you don't have to OWN any bad behavior! But how many individuals are truly helped by being diagnoses as "Bi-Polar," or "Obsessive Compulsive" and then told, . . . it's not your fault?
Within this paradigm, you are given a label for your "disorder," and possibly given a pill to cure your "disease." Such labeling approaches of Excuse-Making Psychology are generally unhelpful for fixing personal problems because they tend to encourage people away from the very thing that will bring them health, healing, and happiness: Owning Your Stuff.
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Solid Assumptions, Satisfying Solutions. The truth is that both your problems and your solutions are embedded with a Social Psychology that focuses on these fundamental questions:
What are you doing . . . that is going against what you feel you should do?
Most of Life's everyday challenges are directly created within relationships, . . . just as they are also solved in relationships. So, instead of looking for an EXCUSE for your contribution to the quagmire, the superior approach is to OWN the very behaviors that bring sadness and sorrow to others, and to yourself, . . . and to Change those hurtful ways.
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Synergy Spins Up and Down. The science of Social Psychology is focused upon the dynamics of relationships; this includes the positive and negative synergy that is uniquely created through mutual collaboration.
Positive Synergy: When individuals reciprocally feed off the euphoric joys of the love they share; they move together in a flowing dance of harmony, intimacy, and beauty.
Negative Synergy: When individuals experience the anguish of doing a dreary dance in which both participants ironically cooperate & contribute. Negative synergy is commonly called A Vicious Cycle!
The fascinating truth about "You" is this: You are NOT just your body . . . who you are IS a synergistic creation of "how you are being" with others. Your Way of Being IS . . . the linguistic meanings that you express to others; expressive meanings that transcends the boundaries of the body; . . . ways of expressing that require the presence of others in order to "be" and make sense.
The most important aspect of who you are is located in "the space between two bodies." Therefore, to fix YOU . . . your way of relating must be altered, your way of be-ing must be changed. This means that the science of Social Psychology is the better premise for improving emotional health.
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Changing Your Stripes. As a Social Psychologist, my helping approach is focused upon the dynamics of what is happening between two people. The book that I've written, "Changing Your Stripes," explains the Social Psychology of Situation, Self, and Solutions.
My book does NOT contain the routine rhetoric of "pop psychology" (i.e. program your brain to achieve anything you can conceive, or fake-it-till-you-make-it positive self-affirmations), nor does it contain the erroneous, yet alluring, assumptions of excuse-making psychology (let me give you a label to get you off the hook).
Changing Your Stripes is a book that can be referred to over and over—specifically written as a resource for counseling via telephone. Because the possibility to profoundly Change your Way of Being from your core, is a function of learning True Principles, the help I offer over the phone is actually more powerful than "face to face" therapy—because my book details the key Principles that will absolutely bring about lasting change in your life.
Changing Your Stripes is a