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Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

Do you know someone who has a problem,
but doesn't "think" they have a problem?


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In Denial & Clueless !

We devise and hang on to our emotional problems
for a purpose, a purpose more important to us than our happiness.
And we deceive ourselves about the fact that this is what we're doing. We participate
in the creation of our emotional troubles and deny we've had any part in it.
- C. Terry Warner.

By definition, when you are "in denial" . . . you are blind to your own blindness! It's a self-perpetuating bind: You're stuck in a rut . . . yet, you don't think you're stuck at all.

When someone else in in denial, it's pretty easy to see their diversion! But how do you help someone else see that they are fooling themselves? Or . . . if you happen to be self-deceived, how would you ever know it? How might you see your own blindness? How can you see at all, when you are blind?

My book, "Changing Your Stripes," has the answers: It breaks down the complexities of self-deception into simple, predictable patterns that consistently signal your own (or someone else's) departure from Life's Inherent Harmony. You see, that is how self-deception is spawned: By going against your own sense of what is true—betraying your own intuitions of honesty.

Here's an excerpt from "Changing Your Stripes" that speaks to the phenomenon of fooling yourself:

Fooling Yourself: Slightly Blind Or Completely Oblivious? The “Fooling Yourself” phenomenon is manifest in varying degrees of distortion, ranging from Slightly Blind to Completely Oblivious. The Slightly Blind kind have an inkling in the back of their mind, that they need to be honest with themselves—but haven’t yet. The inner imbalance, to which they are slightly aware, keeps gnawing away. Though they may not openly admit it, they inwardly feel that they are “off track.” In moments of utter honesty, they know that they need to change.

In Contrast, people who are Completely Oblivious live life with an almost impenetrable blockage of blindness, a dense denial about every aspect of their personal problems. Usually they are the last to be aware of what’s going on. Completely Oblivious people have a problem, but they don’t “see” it—and you can’t fix nothin' . . . till you “know” it’s broke.

When blind and in betrayal, seeing a clear picture of your own bad behavior is difficult; this is because you’re viewing life from a perspective located within your body. Conversely, from an outside perspective, it’s actually easier to see others doing dumb things because their way of being and doing is openly apparent. In a similar way, this is why armchair quarterbacks can clearly “see” real quarterback blunders—in retrospect.

Just as real quarterbacks are actually IN the game, you are living life IN your body; thus, everyone can see your blunders better than you. When the play is already run, everyone can see a “better play”—in retrospect. This is where being Completely Oblivious comes in; this kind of blindness prevents a person from seeing the “better play” to run, even in retrospect.

* * * * *
When you don't know that you've got a problem, . . . that's a problem!
You can't solve a problem that you don't "think" you have.
Blind, Oblivious, and in Betrayal . . . you're Stuck!

.* * * * *

The condition of being blind, oblivious, and in betrayal is self-perpetuating because the very mind that chose the betrayal bind in the first place, is the same corrupted mind that is TRYING to figure a way out (see Einstein's Mind Bind, page 175). Thus people who are slightly blind or completely oblivious quite naturally seek the wrong solutions. (Changing Your Stripes, page 155)

* * * * * * *

"Changing Your Stripes" teaches you the principles that lead to lasting change.
It identifies the Tell-Tale Signs of Self-Deception, so you can be
free to see . . . the extent to which you are blind.

"Changing Your Stripes" will help you start from fresh beginnings—
entering into issues correctly and asking the best questions.

"I have accepted many false opinions as true,
and from the time that I first recognized this fact, I have
realized that if I wished to have any firm and constant knowledge,
I would have to undertake, once and for all, to set aside all
the opinions which I had previously accepted
and start again from the very beginning.
- Descartes.

"Changing Your Stripes" presents principles for getting out of
the ditch in which you've been dumped (the difficulties of which you are a victim),
and the ditch in which you've jumped (the difficulties for which you volunteer).

"Mastering a challenging situation
is ultimately a matter of
mastering yourself!"

- Matt Moody 

"Changing Your Stripes," teaches you the principles that lead to lasting change,
making you a new kind of creature capable of communicating
with calm, even as storms of contention swirl.

If these ideas resonate and ring true,
then . . . this book is for you!

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Changing Your Stripes is a
unique reference book that will help
you understand, . . .
and solve all of
Life's ever-appearing problems.
Here are more reasons to buy
Changing Your Stripes

Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor


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