Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor
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We devise and hang on to our emotional problems
By definition, when you are "in denial" . . . you are blind to your own blindness! It's a self-perpetuating bind: You're stuck in a rut . . . yet, you don't think you're stuck at all.
When someone else in in denial, it's pretty easy to see their diversion! But how do you help someone else see that they are fooling themselves? Or . . . if you happen to be self-deceived, how would you ever know it? How might you see your own blindness? How can you see at all, when you are blind?
My book, "Changing Your Stripes," has the answers: It breaks down the complexities of self-deception into simple, predictable patterns that consistently signal your own (or someone else's) departure from Life's Inherent Harmony. You see, that is how self-deception is spawned: By going against your own sense of what is true—betraying your own intuitions of honesty.
Here's an excerpt from "Changing Your Stripes" that speaks to the phenomenon of fooling yourself:
Fooling Yourself: Slightly Blind Or Completely Oblivious? The “Fooling Yourself” phenomenon is manifest in varying degrees of distortion, ranging from Slightly Blind to Completely Oblivious. The Slightly Blind kind have an inkling in the back of their mind, that they need to be honest with themselves—but haven’t yet. The inner imbalance, to which they are slightly aware, keeps gnawing away. Though they may not openly admit it, they inwardly feel that they are “off track.” In moments of utter honesty, they know that they need to change.
In Contrast, people who are Completely Oblivious live life with an almost impenetrable blockage of blindness, a dense denial about every aspect of their personal problems. Usually they are the last to be aware of what’s going on. Completely Oblivious people have a problem, but they don’t “see” it—and you can’t fix nothin' . . . till you “know” it’s broke.
When blind and in betrayal, seeing a clear picture of your own bad behavior is difficult; this is because you’re viewing life from a perspective located within your body. Conversely, from an outside perspective, it’s actually easier to see others doing dumb things because their way of being and doing is openly apparent. In a similar way, this is why armchair quarterbacks can clearly “see” real quarterback blunders—in retrospect.
Just as real quarterbacks are actually IN the game, you are living life IN your body; thus, everyone can see your blunders better than you. When the play is already run, everyone can see a “better play”—in retrospect. This is where being Completely Oblivious comes in; this kind of blindness prevents a person from seeing the “better play” to run, even in retrospect.
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The condition of being blind, oblivious, and in betrayal is self-perpetuating because the very mind that chose the betrayal bind in the first place, is the same corrupted mind that is TRYING to figure a way out (see Einstein's Mind Bind, page 175). Thus people who are slightly blind or completely oblivious quite naturally seek the wrong solutions. (Changing Your Stripes, page 155)
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"Changing Your Stripes" will help you start from fresh beginnings—
"I have accepted many false opinions as true,
"Changing Your Stripes" presents principles for getting out of
"Mastering a challenging situation
"Changing Your Stripes," teaches you the principles that lead to lasting change,
If these ideas resonate and ring true,
Changing Your Stripes is a