Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor
Below is Dr Matt's Answer
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IS THERE ONE MAN ON THIS PLANET THAT HAS ENOUGH DEPTH TO TALK
I am so frustrated with men I'd like to get rid of them all!
Mallory from Montana, Age 27
Here is the direct answer to your QUESTION:
You will respond well to this situation, as you focus your frustration toward the specific man, or the specific men, who are "asking for more" and who lack "depth."
To generalize your frustration beyond your immediate and direct experience—and get frustrated with men in general—is to join the kind of people who have general pre-judgments toward people with black skin, or brown skin, or white skin, or harbor general pre-judgments toward Jews, or Muslims, or Mexicans, or Mormons, etc.
It's called being prejudiced. Pre-Judgment = Prejudice
You will be wise if you don't become prejudiced and poisoned against millions of men that you've never met—many of which possess a "depth" of character that you are missing in your current associations.
Since you can't control other people's attitudes or actions—but you CAN control your own—it is very healthy to ask yourself the following question:
"What is it about me, that I tend to attract and associate with men
By asking this question, and taking positive action upon the answer, you can directly DO something about your situation and frustration. Now the "doing" of it is NOT a matter of mental will power; instead, it is a Matter of Heart.
If you want to attract a man of higher character (the kind of man that will treat you as you wish to be treated), THEN this means you need to become a woman who possesses this same level of "depth" that you desire.
If you do not change first, then consistent association with men of "depth" cannot happen. One definition of insanity is thus:
Doing the same thing day after day, but expecting different results.
There is a chinese proverb that expresses a similar thought:
I dreamed a thousand new paths; I woke up and walked my old one.
Luckily, I've written a book, Changing Your Stripes, that contains all the principles that you need to know to "walk a new path" and to become the kind of woman that will attract men of "depth."
Now, I'm not saying you don't have depth of character. I am saying that you and everyone else in this world (to include me) can move to a higher level of living—higher than the one that we're currently on.
Remember Mallory, the level at which you are currenty living . . . is the one where you are experiencing frustration with men who lack "depth."
So, the choice is yours: To walk your old path and be "insane" enough to think you will get new results, OR to walk a new path and enjoy all the "depth" that awaits you along this new journey.
Matt Moody, Ph.D.
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