The Source and Power to Overcome Narcissism
I don’t have a question but I wanted to tell you something. I Googled “overcoming narcissism” and saw the generated list. I was hoping for some hope and faith and not just some dumb explanation provided by worldly philosophy. I don’t know you, and I have never been to your site prior . . . but for some reason I “felt” to click on the link that took me to your site.
As I read your response, I realized that your answer to overcoming narcissism was stating something very powerful, especially about free will and the difference between choice and “the Truth” as you put it. Then I saw quotes from the Bible, I really felt the spirit bear witness to its truth. Tears welled in my eyes as I read the words of Jesus. It's interesting how such simple miracles happen. I was so thankful that your link was the one I clicked.
After further research I see that I am not the classic narcissist (at least I hope not) but I do have much selfishness that I am trying to overcome. I just wanted to say thank you for being the type of psychologist with the courage to point the only Person who can help us overcome our human foibles: namely, our Savior, Jesus Christ.
I hope that you are truly prospering in your work, because your words were a ray of light and hope to this mind darkened by sin and worldliness. I am going to purchase your book. Thanks again.
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Truth is, we are all "selfish" to some extent: everyone can be placed on a continuum from pitch black narcissism . . . to pure white charity — which "seeketh not her own." Only Jesus lived the pure white way, everyone else has fallen short. Just this morning, I read about His selfless commitment to giving his life for our benefit, and to fulfill the will of His Father:
"My meat is to do the will of him that sent me and to finish his work . . .
for I came down from heaven no to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me."
As you have acknowledged, the cure to overcoming narcissism is through Faith in Jesus, the Son of God. The good news: this morning you followed a Spirit prompting. As you continue listen, the Lord will lead you, and redeem you, from all urges of selfish narcissism:
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:
old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
The Savior pointed out this paradox of mortal life:
"He that findeth his life shall lose it:
and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."
Different from the impression that many self-help gurus give, I am crystal clear that I "can do nothing" unless I abide in the True Vine (see John 15: 1-5). As a lawyer, you have been trained to use your head and rely upon your intellect — such an orientation is precisely opposite from the way the Lord would have us live:
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Be not wise in thine own eyes.
I invite you to experience the previous passage, as if for the first time, and take its meaning to heart. As you do, a miracle will happen in your life: You will be changed from a selfish man, to a man of empathy and compassion, through Heaven's Help.
Matt Moody, Ph.D.
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Dr. Matt offers telephone counseling that will fix your problems fast!
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Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor