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Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

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I'm Attracted to Teacher, what should I Do?

Hello Dr. Matt:

My name is Karma. I live in Kentucky. I'm 18 years of age, female, and currently single.

My situation is that I like my teacher and don't know what to do. He is older than me, but that's not a problem for me. I just want him to get a chance to see me other than his student, and try to get to know him on a personal level.

He is all I think about. I even get butterflies when I see him.
Please help because I don't know what to do!!!!

Thanks for your help,

Hi Karma:

While you are a student, . . . you need to just be a student in relation to him. Eventually, when you are NOT in his classroom anymore and you are of age, it then you can begin to send signals that you'd like to associate with him more closely, at a different level.

If you are still in high school, you'll need to wait till you graduate. If you are in college, you need to NOT be registered in any of his classes, to begin closer involvement.

When the time is right and you send your signals of encouragement, he may NOT respond back with equal intensity of attraction? Here's a guide to know when you've got a Chemistry that clicks!

In the mean time, it is OK to be friendly.

But, you will do him a favor by NOT tempting him to be something more than a friend, while you are still his student (or still in high school)—you can get him in trouble, and put his job in jeopardy. There are many sad stories of students and teachers who chose the wrong time and and the wrong place to act on their attractions — learn from their mistakes, and don't do likewise!

Enjoy your butterflies and be patient. Wait for the right time and place to explore the possibilities: to see if yours is a one-sided attraction.


Matt Moody, Ph.D.
Social Psychologist

* * * * * * *

The Greatest Prize
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(Changing Your Stripes, 2nd Edition, page 274).

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Social Psychologist & Personal Advisor

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